When Harry Groped Sally
There is a phenomenon in the adult world known as the "Hello kiss." It happens thusly: if you haven't seen an old friend of the opposite sex in a long time, or, similarly, if you see someone whom you see regularly but are not good friends with, you greet them with a "Hello" kiss. Granted, this is not really a kiss; it's more literally making a "mwah" sound while the side of your lips barely touch her cheek, but, you know. The thing I'm curious about is, why did this phenomenon not cross over to the friends you see all the time. You kiss friends you never see, and people you see often but aren't friends with, so why not friends you see all the time? It would seem like something people would enjoy; we all like kisses, that's why we give them out. But for some reason, we don't greet our closest female friends with a kiss unless we haven't seem them in like forever.
I'm not complaining, mind you, I am merely curious. Personally, I think my generation will do away with the Hello kiss altogether, mostly because we've been conditioned to dislike it from having to kiss our ugly relatives and parent's friends all the time. One might say that we don't kiss our friends hello because it's redundant; it's the same reason why we don't shake hands with our male friends every day. But I don't think that's it; no one likes handshakes, but there's always something nice about a kiss, unless your friend is a fatty.
I think that's actually it: a kiss would be too much fun to experience all the time with our close friends. There's an built-in latent sexual tension between any man and woman who haven't had sex, simply because a man is built to procreate, therefore a man's sexual instincts always dictate that he should try to have sex with any woman he meets, unless, of course, she's a fatty. That isn't to say that a man can't have a platonic relationship with a woman; of course he can. But to begin every meeting with a certain woman with a kiss, a man would expect that relationship to expand past "friends." And every time we would lean in for the kiss, we would all think we might accidentally go for an open-mouth kiss and ruin the whole thing. I'm serious. I think everyone you meet you might strike up a friendship with you should just have sex with them when you first meet them to get it out of the way. Or, you know, perhaps not. I really have no idea what I'm talking about. I only saw the whole Hello kiss thing on Seinfeld once. I'm really just a sexually frustrated teenager talking out of my ass. Whatever.
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M. "Awesome" at 10:13 AM
Moo.
What's the point of having a movie theater if there's nothing good in it? I haven't seen a movie in a what feels like two weeks, and I know that may not seem like a long time to you, but DAMMIT! I need a movie! I would consider a reviewing of something great, like Napoleon Dynamite for a second time or Garden State for a
third, making that a record for me. But ony if I took someone else; going alone would just be sad (but maybe
then I'll get the sympathy I
deserve!) Oh, if only it were September (in the movie sense
only) so I could see Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Or October 1, so I could see I Heart Huckabee's (as the IMDb and the symbolless capabilities of my blog render it). Oh Well. Fuck.
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M. "Awesome" at 6:20 PM
Fiddity Ibbity Ubbiddy Oobiddy Cickle-a Wickila You Bioaoatch
Ever thought of quitting school? I have. The thought left my mind just as quickly as it went in, mind you, but I still thought it. Riding on a train coming back from New York, listening to the Garden State Soundtrack does that to you, I suppose. It comes from the same part of the mind that thinks "Maybe I'll run away," when you're a kid. I wouldn't mind traveling by train all over the world, with all my possessions in a knapsack, looking out the window and listening to some totally chill music, not a care in the world. Travis, Badly Drawn Boy, Damien Rice, and Nick Drake would all be musts.
What my mother called an audition wasn't really much of an audition at all, more like an informal reading on camera. Got to stay in El City afterwards, watching people edit. Nice-ageness. I wouldn't mind having a job like that. It isn't what I'd like to do forever, but it's a fun way to make some moolah somewhere, if you're not an intern like John. Mwa-ha-ha.
I realized I talk to my cat like he's a person, and a child person at that. Is that strange? Probably is. I should stop, but that wittle snuggum-wuggums is SO CUTE!!!!!! I could just hug him to death!
And the faggery is over.
Goddamn Republicans, messing everything up with their damn convention. I swear, I'm so damn angry with them I could slap Bush in the face ( I only say that so the FBI won't do a background check on me or anything). I bet there are more angry Democrats in the city than Republicans here for the convention. Having the convention in the city is like how they invaded Iraq: they storm in, create a whole bunch of problems for the people living there, and seem to stay there forever. Damn Republicans.
Fnord Forever.
Up Yours.
P.S.: Tarantino's got a fuckin
BLOG!!!!! and to Adam: it's on the same site as mine.
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M. "Awesome" at 5:03 PM
You Should Realize That Zhou Xing Is No One to Trifle With
Our car wouldn't start yesterday morning...had to stay with Mother at the Volkswagen dealer. They gave us free IHOP breakfast vouchers though, which was nice. After IHOP we were in the waiting area of the car place, and they had a tv with NBC on. Starting Over was on, a reality/feminist crap show about a bunch of weepy chicks with clashing personalities staying in a house together. I could actually
feel my balls falling off. The moral: don't buy from Joe Heidt Motors.
I can't read my summer reading books. My head literally hurts every time I try to. I actually get a headach in the back of my head , near the neck, every time a pick up
The Awakening or the ones by Henrk Ibsen. The Awakening shouldn't even be called a novel. It's a load of crap. I don't know how anyone but the International Sisterhood of Butch Lesbians (ISoBL) could call this book a classic. On the card where I have to put what I liked and disliked about the book, guess what I'm going to put? You are correct, even though I have no idea what you said. I should take a poll.
Why do people think they can find themselves by changing their haircolor or something else that is unique to them? Your identity cannot come in a bottle of dye. You've got to use what you've got instead of changing it.
I'm
probably going to host a show on PBS about abortion or some crap like that. If you care, the show airs Sundays at like 11:30am. Shitty time, but it's probably for the best, since I'll be a horrible host.
Seden has awesome potato chips. Next time you're at IKEA, pick some up. Really. And pick up some mini cinnamon rolls too, while you're at it. And furniture wouldn't be bad, either.
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M. "Awesome" at 3:29 PM
Everything Old Is Moldy Again
There has been much demand for a new entry...only by one person, but that's beside the point. So here it is.
Movies:
Seen a lot of them.
Collateral - very good movie. Can't say why it wasn't great; everything was there, it just wasn't, though it was very good.
Mulholland Drive - also very good, though I didn't think it was as great as a lot of people say, though it was as weird as everyone says. The best movie I've seen in a while (besides
Garden State, of course) is
Harold and Maude. This was such a beautiful movie, and it proves one thing: I am a sucker for romance movies. I don't know how this happened, but all of a sudden I like to see people fall in love on screen. Very strange. I'll have to investigate this and come up with a reason, to be reported later. As far as my own cinematic projects are going, neither of them are in the can, as they say, nor are they even on the page. In the 10-minuter, for no reason now called
Bolts, I've got the entire thing written, except for the FRIGGING ENDING!!!!! I'm out of ideas right now. Help would be appreciated. The feature, is iffy. I'm really just sort of dreaming it will be made. I've got like 5 or 7 pages written, but not even a full scene yet. I might seek out a collaborator for it. Might. Shall update with story outlines soon, but I am to fricking lazy right now.
Music:
I got a record player in my room finally. Hurrah.
Crap:
Will be IKEArizing my room soon. Awesomenessocity, I know.
The Wit and Wisdom of Philip G. Frollo:
"You gotta be careful with women. Women are like emotional camels. For years they won't show a thing, but once you get married: NYAG! NYAG! NYAG! NYAG!"
That nyag sound is a close approximation, but the actual sound he made must be heard to understand.
I have nothing else to say. Happy now, Nicole?
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M. "Awesome" at 7:07 PM
The Philosophy of Phillip G. Frollo
As we were leaving the driveway of my house for some delicious Ray's Pizza, my father says to me, "If it wasn't for Hitler, this house wouldn't be here right now, and neither would either of us." He proceeds to explain: "If Hitler hadn't have done all those horrible things, there would've been no World War II. Which would have meant that my father would have been home during those years, and would have wanted to start a family. Which would mean that I would have ben born a few years earlier and would have met completely different people. Same thing with your mother. And we wouldn't have met, and we wouldn't have had you. And these houses, which were built as low-cost housing for GI's coming back from the war, wouldn't have been here either." Indeed it is true. My father thinks like that all the time. If you're ever in my company, ask about the matchbook story. It is quite interesting.
I've noticed lately that I've been taking more of an interest in romances in movies. Why is this? What is becoming of me? Hell, I almost cried at the end of Garden State. It's quite strange. I realized I want a movie romance like in Garden State or in The Fisher King, which I just rewatched today. Great movie, and there is quite a touching scene between Robin Williams(Parry), and Amanda Plummer(Lydia). Best line in that scene: When Lydia assumes that Parry just wants to go up to her apartment, have sex and leave, he says: "Oh, no. I
want to come up, believe me. I've got a hardon the size of Florida, but
I don't want just one night." Isn't that beautiful? Except perhaps for the hardon bit, bu what are you gonna do? He's homeless and blunt. Anyway, I can't stress enough how important it is to see te movie Garden State. I will personally make sure all of my friends see it, so don't worry, Norman, the Man Who Lives In-Between My Toes. Eh, I'm done.
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M. "Awesome" at 4:51 PM
SEE GARDEN STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. Only six posts and I've already become disenchanted with the whole blog thing. It was never my intention to have a blog in the first place, and to the less than one people who care, please realize that this may not be the longest stretch without an entry. Now that I've got apologies out of the way, GO SEE THE MOVIE GARDEN STATE. It is the best movie I've seen in a long time, and I've seen a lot of really good movies lately, which reminds me. In Defense of The Village: It was well-acted, well-made in general, Bryce Dallas Howard was great, as was Joaquin Phoenix and William Hurt. The ending was eh, but people have got to realize that the ending isn't everything. I saw The Sixth Sense after aleady knowing the ending, but I sill thought it was great, which brings me to another point: You must stop comparing all of M. Night Shyamalan's films to The Sixth Sense. They're not all gonna have a great twist like that did. My mother says the movie was stupid, but sometimes-hokey dialogue and a copout ending don't make a movie stupid. Now back to Garden State. My God, it was such a great movie. Inspirational to a guy such as me, an aspiring filmmaker/actor from Jersey. It's everything I have ever wanted to see on film. I can't put into words just how much I loved this movie. Remember that movie I was talking about? The one I was making? Probably not. Asses. Anyway, that's over. I'm not doing that. I'm writing a completely different script. After seeing Garden State and Napoleon Dynamite, I'm gonna try to do something more like that. Okay? Is that all right with you? You bitch. Ok, I'm done.
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M. "Awesome" at 6:25 PM
