Norman Rockwell Eating Babies=Pure Americana
I am so high right now. "Do you have any cookies? Oh, cause I want a cookie. Like, really bad. Are you sure you don't have any cookies left? Come on, you have to. No, I don't want a hamburger. A hamburger is not a cookie. Have you been listening to a word I've been saying? I need a cookie. Look, just show me the cookies. I know you have some. I know you have cookie hoard back there, just show me a cookie. Preferably a sugar, but I don't care. It can be stale. I'm flexible. Really. Just - I don't even - I - look, we all know I want a cookie. And we all know you have cookies. Let's stop the charade. I don't even want to eat the cookie now, just show me that you have them, cause I know you do. Show me the cookie vault. Come on! Look, I think it's really offensive that you're not letting me see the cookies and I think you're a racist. I know I'm white; you don't have to spread it around. Look, don't you have any crumbs or anything? Nothing? A sprinkle? A chocolate chip? You know what? No one leaves until I get a cookie. That's right. I - come on! Please? Don't leave. Come on. I - fine. Screw you all. I bet Burger King has better cookies anyway. Ah, now here come the cookies. No, i don't need that much, just one or two. Thank you."
No one will ever get that.
If every time I ate a pretzel, God killed a kitten, I would have this to say:
"Let the slaughter begin!"
Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut to look like Jude Law. It will backfire, I am sure.
Jude Law makes me question my sexuality.
I shouldn't have admitted that.
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M. "Awesome" at 11:40 PM
